Plays

“Don’t bore the audience!  I mean, even if you have to resort to totally arbitrary killing on stage, or pointless gunfire, at least it'll catch their attention and keep them awake.”

From the start it has been the theatre's business to entertain people ... it needs no other passport than fun.

BERTOLT BRECHT

“I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.”

PATRICK DENNIS

“Some may say that I couldn't sing, but no one can say that I didn't sing.”

FLORENCE FOSTER JENKINS

TENNESSEE WILLIAMS

"Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot."

Blanche DuBois from

A Streetcar Named Desire

“I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell truths. I tell what ought to be truth.”

Eugene from Biloxi Blues


"Most people's lives, what are they but trails of debris - each day more debris, more debris... long, long trails of debris, with nothing to clean it all up but death."

Mrs Venable from Suddenly Last Summer


“I hate little notes on my pillow. Like this morning. ‘We’re all out of cornflakes. F.U.’ It took me three hours to figure out that ‘F.U.’ was Felix Unger.”

Oscar Madison from The Odd Couple

"Everybody has something they don't want others to touch because of their intimate nature."

"Purple? What kind of a homosexual are you anyway? That's not purple, Mary, that color out there... is mauve."

Belize from Angels in America


"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”

CHARLIE CHAPLIN

"There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel."

“You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down.”

"A horse fell on her when she was a kid, and she hasn't taken an aspirin yet."

"You chased a dog and you

beat a horse. You're

stronger than you think."

"I''ve had two years to grow claws mother. Jungle red.

Mary Haines  from The Women


"If no one took risks risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor."

NEIL SIMON

"Oh, the publicity!

La publicité!"


Countess DeLave from The Women


Blanche DuBois from

A Streetcar Named Desire


“The Venus flytrap, a devouring organism, aptly named for the goddess of love.”

Mrs Venable from Suddenly Last Summer


"The decline of the Western world began with the invention of the wheel."

Hannah from Night of the Iguana


"'We are all in the gutter,

but some of us are

looking at the stars."

OSCAR WILDE

JOAN CRAWFORD

"We all go a little

mad sometimes."

Norman Bates from Psycho

“I always like walking

in the rain, so no one

can see me crying.”

CHARLIE CHAPLIN

"You should never say bad

things about the dead,only good…

Joan Crawford is dead. Good.”

Blance from Streetcar Named Desire


“Sometimes—there's God

 —so quickly!”

TENNESSEE WILLIAMS

NEIL SIMON

TONY KUSHNER

CLARE BOOTH LUCE

TENNESSEE WILLIAMS

George from The Out of Towners


NEIL SIMON

Artie from Lost in Yonkers


CLARE BOOTH LUCE

ANTHONY PERKINS

BETTE DAVIS

NEIL SIMON

TENNESSEE WILLIAMS

THE PROCESS OF WRITING A PLAY.

Here are some of my favorite quotes.  If you have a favorite, feel free to send it to me.  Who knows?  It might make my wall.

We are always clearing out our DVD shelves.  If you're interested in buying a used DVD, check out the link.

“In the end,

everything is a gag.”

"If you want the girl next

door, go next door."

TENNESSEE WILLIAMS

THE MARS THEATRE

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